How To Know If They're "The One"

Love-Bombing, Sex & Intimacy, When It Feels Like Love But It’s Not, What True Love Actually Looks Like, & More

Unfortunately, we’re living in a world where love is often confused with lust. A girl meets a guy, a guy meets a girl, and physical attraction is usually the first thing that draws them to each other. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, men and women are visual beings, and attraction is definitely important when it comes to choosing the person you want to spend forever with.

But attraction alone is not love.

If it were, everyone would be married and thriving. Instead, we’re seeing the opposite. Young people fear commitment, many seem lost, and people keep getting hurt because they continue choosing the wrong person. Even those who are married face challenges that slowly kill both emotional and physical intimacy, and in many cases, those marriages are ending in divorce.

So, to avoid this, we must understand what true love is, and how to know if they’re “the one”.

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There’s a difference between a connection that is real and one that simply feels intense. Intensity can be deceiving. Many times it feels intense because it’s based purely on physical attraction (lust). And, in some cases, it might feel intense because the other person might be love bombing you.

Love bombing is when someone showers you with an excessive amount of affection, attention, grand gestures, and compliments in a very short amount of time. It can feel like a fairytale at first, but it’s often a manipulation tactic to make you like them back and/or create dependency.

True love can feel like this from the very beginning too, and have this same exact dynamic, because sometimes souls recognize each other instantly, and you’ll find yourself thinking “where have you been all my life?”. It will feel intense. The difference is that love bombing can feel like being put on a pedestal, but that pedestal is fragile. The moment you express a boundary or show a side of yourself they don’t idealize, the same person who adored you may become distant, judge you, or even punish you emotionally.

How to know if they’re love bombing you:

- Their affection comes with conditions. They bombard you with texts, calls, and DMs all day, but if you don’t respond quickly or with the same intensity, they might guilt-trip you or act cold and distant. They “reciprocate energy”, but what they’re truly doing is playing games.

- They’ll buy expensive things or plan over-the-top dates right away, trying to “win” you fast. It may feel good at first, but their intention is to control and impress you, not to love you. They’re either trying to feed their own ego, or trying to win something (not your heart, but your attention, time, and… body)

- They’ll study you, especially if you’re active on social media, and they’ll claim to love everything you love.

- They’ll always give you the most beautiful compliments. They idealize you, not because they see or know the real you, but because they want you to feel addicted to their praise and attention.

- The sweetness disappears quickly if you say “no.”