True Love Doesn’t Need Rules

Modern Dating Advice, The False Archetypes, "Resume Relationships", High-Value, Authenticity + Polarity, Where & When You'll Meet Your True Love, & More.

Last week, I met my future husband.

Someone asked me, “How do you know you met your future husband?”. My response was: “Souls recognize each other instantly. Most dating advice (“you need to wait X months until you know”, etc.) don’t work when it’s a divine union orchestrated by God. You just know. Both of you just know.”

And it’s true.

Love doesn’t need rules. “True love” is a concept (and a reality) that most daydream about, but not everyone is sure what it truly looks like, because people have been misguided. We often hear dating advice that sounds like:

“Never double-text”

“Don’t reply immediately”

“Make him chase you”

“Don’t show too much interest”

“Mirror his energy”

“Act mysterious”

“Don’t call her too often”

“Show that you’ve got options”

And sadly, the list goes on, and on, and on.

These so-called rules only create a false sense of power, anxiety, emotional disconnection, and relationships built entirely on performance. They become roadblocks to both true intimacy and genuine love. And in that performance, we lose sight of the very thing everyone is seeking, which is real connection, real love.

I see a lot of people creating content online—whether on X, IG, YouTube, etc.—about how to attract your crush, how to attract real love, how to attract your ex, how to use different New Age techniques like the LOA (Law of Attraction) to attract your soulmate, how to “detach” to “attract”, how to become a “high-value” woman or man, how to manipulate the person you’re interested in so they fall in love with you, etc. The content is everywhere. But it’s extremely rare to find people who share the Fabergé egg technique (as I like to call it because of its value and rarity), where they remind people that if you want to find true love, you just have to be yourself and let God do the rest.

It really is that simple, my love.

Do you think some of the beautiful grandmas—whose men went to war for them, wrote them love letters, had ten children with them, held their hands until their last breath, and then passed shortly after from heartbreak, grieving the loss of the love of their life—ever watched New Age manifestation videos, tried to attract their soulmate by doing X, Y, and Z, or listened to red pill advice? You already know the answer.

That doesn’t mean all dating advice is flawed. I myself enjoy sharing content about love, relationships, and all the beautiful topics our human nature is so deeply drawn to. We all have a lover girl or lover boy within us, even if that vulnerable expression of your soul has been buried under pain or fear. But dating advice rooted in manipulation will never work with the man or woman God has chosen for you. It might work on some people. I’ve even heard stories of girls who attracted their exes back using “witchy” rituals or manifestation techniques. But at what cost?

Most of the dating strategies people promote, whether metaphysical or purely psychological, are often created to feed the ego, not the heart. They're designed to help you get what you want (or think you want), or to fill an emotional void with superficial attention and temporary affection.

But baby, it’s not about what you want. It’s about what you need. You need true love. And true love isn’t something you find by manipulating reality or by morphing into someone you’re not.

Let Go of the Rules

When my man and I met, we didn’t follow any dating rules.

We were our most authentic, unfiltered selves right from the start, and that’s exactly how we bonded. That’s how we realized we were, in so many ways, the same soul in two bodies. And everything happened so fast, but we weren’t rushing or trying to force anything—our hearts simply recognized each other instantly. There was no second-guessing. Just peace and clarity.

I’m not trying to encourage impulsiveness, but to remind you that true love isn’t built by games or artificial boundaries.

When it’s real, it just flows. There’s no need for constant analysis, and no need to guard your every move. You both lean in fully, without hesitation.

With the right person, you will feel safe and seen without effort. You won’t need to overanalyze tone or punctuation. You won’t have to sit with your phone in your hand all day, waiting for a message and planning the best time to respond. You won’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not. You won’t need to be lusted after to feel desired. You won’t need to consult your friends to decide whether or not you should reply or see them.

True love only requires love.

Not rules. Not games. Not manipulation. Not tactics. Just alignment.

The False Archetypes

Nowadays, it seems like most (online) dating advice is packaged and sold under titles like The Dark Feminine, The Siren Archetype, The High-Value Woman/Man, The Alpha Male, and an endless catalog of red and black pill terminology.

They’re speaking to a generation that is starving for love but fears vulnerability. No one wants to get hurt—I understand—but true love is never found through the manipulation of others. Maybe these tactics might work with the wrong people, but never with the one who is truly destined for you. The more you entertain these concepts and rules, the more you delay and even close the door to real love, simply to feed your ego temporarily while starving your soul.

Those who promote these archetypes do not see love for what it truly is: a sacred union of two souls. They’re reducing love to a dangerous game of strategy, power, and control.

Women are told to embody their “dark feminine” or “siren energy”: becoming unattainable, mysterious, emotionally distant, seductive yet inaccessible. In theory, it sounds empowering. In practice, it’s all about control. Don’t reveal too much. Don’t show how much you like him. Make him wonder where he stands with you. Be warm one moment, distant the next. Withdraw to punish. Project the idea that you have many options. Use intense eye contact. Use manifestation, scripting, or rituals to “call in” specific men.

At its core, it’s all about asking, “How can I keep him addicted to me?”. It’s performance to invoke desire, not to build love. And it reduces femininity to nothing more than a calculated and artificial act of seduction.

There is a spiritual cost to this kind of "power”. Because it doesn’t come from God, and it’s not rooted in love. It’s rooted in emotional dominance, driven by the simple desire to gain something in return, which is the attention of the one they are trying to seduce. It may attract. It may mesmerize. In some cases it may even make them obsessed with you. But it will not last or nourish the heart because it appeals to a man’s lust, not his spirit.

On the other side, we see daily, especially online, the rise of the red pill movement, and beneath it, the even more cynical black pill—ideologies that claim to reveal the "truth" about our female nature and how men must outsmart it. These teachings are telling men to withhold love and affection (because “that’s gay”, as they often say), and to treat relationships like negotiations, as if love were just another meme coin to trade for profit. Once again, love is reduced to transaction and performance.

Men are taught to become hyper-masculine caricatures of manhood. Dominant, indifferent, emotionally armored, acting from their intellect rather than their heart.

The red pill teaches men to evaluate a woman’s worth based on youth (prioritizing women in their early twenties, or preferably younger), beauty (while distorting their perception of women by convincing them most women are "mid"), and submission (without requiring the man to cultivate the kind of character worthy of respect or devotion).

The black pill spirals even further into hopelessness, screaming mostly from their anon accounts that true love only exists in movies, and that marriage is nothing but a legal contract that women are likely to end at any given moment.

Red pill and alpha male advice trains men to stay emotionally unavailable. To always be busy, hard to reach, and distant. To make women compete for their attention. To pretend they have endless options and can replace any woman. If she senses he cares about her, they say she will lose interest. Build wealth. Build your portfolio. Sculpt your body. Keep your hobbies Instagram-worthy. Gain status. Sleep with many women. The more women in your dms, the higher your worth. Never pursue her too much. Never apologize first. And never ever reveal that you crave emotional intimacy, because “vulnerability is weakness and women will find it unattractive” (which is a lie).

The dark feminine and alpha male archetypes are born from the same root (or wounds): ego, insecurity, and a desperate hunger for control (in most cases, to avoid rejection). Both teach people to earn love by becoming someone they are not. Both are obsessed with winning their game, rather than building a beautiful romantic connection.

These red pill ideologies are not creating strong men. There is nothing strong, sexy, or admirable about avoiding connection, suppressing emotions, or refusing to pursue and love a woman with honor and devotion. They are creating men who hide behind masks of false masculinity. A truly masculine man does not view love as weakness, and he leads with respect, not with strategy.

These archetypes and dating rules are manufacturing emotionally immature adults. If I’m honest, it’s very childish, and heartbreakingly sad at the same time, because beneath all of it, they too crave love. It’s in our human nature, and it’s okay to desire it. We are all born worthy of the highest love.

Love cannot be built on masks, my love. A mask may attract attention, but it cannot sustain intimacy. It may draw someone in at first, but it cannot keep them close.

All these teachings are born from fear. Fear of not being chosen, fear of rejection, fear of heartbreak, fear of abandonment. And so both men and women are taught to protect themselves from the risk of real intimacy by never allowing themselves to truly be seen. But in real love, the kind that is written into your life by God, you are not chosen because of your allure or status. You are chosen because your soul fits theirs. No archetype, no tactic, no psychological performance can replicate what God has aligned.

Resume Relationships

Baby, say no to “resume relationships”.

We are not resumes. Your man doesn’t need to be over six feet tall, drive X car, make X amount of money, own lots of Bitcoin, have a Golden Retriever, not like pineapple on pizza, etc.

These superficial (and often ridiculous) checklists belong to a culture that has lost touch with the sacredness of divine unions. They are born from a transactional mindset that keeps reducing love to a marketplace (a trade of attributes, an endless search for someone who checks every box…).

Love is not a LinkedIn profile, sweet soul. It is not a performance. It is not a contract. Love is a covenant. A contract says, “I will love you *as long as* you keep meeting these terms”. A covenant says, “I choose you, fully, as you are”.

Contracts can be broken when conditions change. Covenants can last more than one lifetime because they are rooted in something deeper than temporary circumstances or superficial qualities. Covenants are rooted in devotion and in perfect, Godly, alignment. It’s two souls finding each other, merging their souls to become one, and uniting under the authority of God, not under expectations imposed by society or shallow standards.

When we treat love like it’s a resume, we reduce people to what they can offer us externally, forgetting that the most beautiful parts of a person are often invisible to the world.

In a divine union. you are not selecting just features. Some of these things are important, yes, you must be attracted to your person, of course. But when you find your soulmate, you’re surrendering to a union where both of you are vessels for something far greater than yourselves. You are choosing someone not for what they have, but for who they are.

No checklist or dating formula can capture the alchemy that happens when two souls recognize each other beyond the surface.

“High-Value”, Authenticity + Polarity

True polarity, which is essential in romantic relationships, is not about the man trying to appear more masculine and the woman trying to appear more feminine. Although important, this can sometimes become performative.

True polarity is when the man leads in love, and the woman receives in grace. When a man flows from that place, a woman never needs to decipher mixed signals or question his intentions. In return, her feminine presence becomes a mirror, reflecting back to him the beauty of who he truly is when he is not trying to impress anyone.

There is no need to prove oneself as a “high value” man or woman. When a man stands fully in his authenticity, he does not need to prove his worth. She will see it, and he will see hers.

Many are attracted to the “high value” concepts because who wouldn’t want to be seen as valuable? But when you start to peel back the layers, you quickly realize that much of this advice is, again, all about performance. It often turns into a checklist of traits to acquire or behaviors to adopt in order to appear worthy.

There is obviously nothing wrong with wanting to be the best version of yourself, the woman or man that God has called you to be, to grow, heal, and bring your best into a relationship. Evolving on a personal and soul level is beautiful when it comes from a place of genuine self-love and alignment with God. But that is not the same as turning yourself into a perfectly polished package to fit someone else’s mold of what is desirable.

In order to pursue and pour into a woman, a man must enter his flow state of authenticity. No tactics. No secret dating rules to follow. Just flow. When he flows, she grows.

When he steps fully into his authenticity, and his actions and intentions are pure and come from a place of truth, the woman and the connection begin to blossom. She intuitively senses that his energy is not shaped by his ego. This nourishes her. And, in return, her femininity, warmth, and softness nourish his masculinity. This is the divine polarity that requires no effort to maintain because it simply is—divine and effortless. They are not trying to impress each other. They simply see each other. They both show up as they are, and if their union is orchestrated by God, their souls will fit together so perfectly.

When a man leaves all games behind and pursues a woman from a grounded, mature, and authentic place, the woman can rest, soften, and pour back into him endlessly and selflessly. She doesn’t need him to complete her. They are both whole within themselves. But they complement each other so beautifully.

Love is not something that must be earned or forced. The masculine does not force or control, and the feminine does not chase or manipulate. There is no battle for power, no games to see who can get the most affection or attention, no manipulation tactics to make the other person fall in love with you, no tension between giving and receiving, no fear of losing oneself. When you find your person, and refuse to follow any dating rules, you both rise together, nourished by the simple truth that when love is rooted in God, it flows so effortlessly.

One of the most magical things about authentic love is that it also doesn’t exhaust you, confuse you, or require you to become someone you are not. It only draws out the highest, most radiant version of who you already are. It makes the woman glow and the man shine.

Where You Meet Does Not Matter

Divine unions do not obey human logistics.

Whether you meet online or in real life is irrelevant. God can bring two people together through any means He chooses. What matters is not the platform but the purpose.

Some people are obsessed with origin stories. They love asking, “How did you meet?” as though the setting determines the sanctity. But God is not bound by geography or by man-made systems. He is the Author of connection, the Orchestrator of timing, the Creator of stories that make no earthly sense but fit perfectly in His divine timing.

Some divine unions are born from childhood friendships. Others from brief in-person conversations that bloom into forever. Some begin with a follow on social media. Others through the prayers of two hearts who have never met but are being prepared for one another. The world may attach meaning to the method, but God attaches meaning to the mission.

It doesn’t matter where you meet. Some people have expectations like, “He/She must not have a social media presence”, or “I want to meet them at the gym or while I’m grocery shopping”. But baby, God doesn’t care about the “hows” or “wheres”; He just wants to make it happen. Instead of obsessing about how or where you’ll meet them, trust that God will plan it perfectly.

I met my man while living on an island. We connected through social media, and he didn’t waste any time—he booked a flight overseas just to meet me. Our souls recognized each other instantly, both through the internet and in person.

When it is God-ordained, the foundation is not where you met, but why you met. It’s about what you are being called to build together, the purpose He has assigned to your union, and the way your love will reflect His glory. Two souls destined to meet will always find each other, regardless of distance, timing, or circumstance.

Nothing can obstruct what Heaven has already written.

You Don’t Have To Wait

People also love to say, “You should date for X amount of months or years before you get married.”

Most dating advice offers timelines and carefully calculated steps as if love is something that can be predicted, measured, or scheduled. But divine unions don’t submit to human calendars. I understand the purpose of vetting, though, but sometimes when you know, you just know. That deep, inner knowing is unlike anything that can be explained with words. This is why it’s difficult to understand. Our mind can rationalize things, which is good—this protects us, too. But it’s our heart and soul that tell us when we’ve found our person. This knowing transcends logic. It’s God’s voice communicating with us through our gut and spirit.

And the beautiful thing is that the right person won’t come with “red flags” or give you the ick. This doesn’t mean we’re all perfect, but God unites souls that are perfect for each other.

There’s no universal “right” amount of time to wait before saying “I miss you”, “I love you”, or “I do”. Waiting just for the sake of waiting can sometimes become a way to avoid commitment or delay what’s truly meant to be. Divine unions don’t follow a script.

[That said, rushing into these moments when you’re not sure, when your feelings aren’t fully reciprocated, or when you don’t feel completely safe emotionally or spiritually can lead to more confusion or heartache. If you notice some red flags or doubts, no matter how small, it’s important to honor those feelings. Sometimes, these signals are God’s way of guiding you to pause and reflect.]

When God is the Author of the story, there is so much clarity. Everything clicks, too. There is a peace so sweet that silences the questions. And a certainty that does not come from analyzing every pro and con, but from our spirit affirming, "this is it, it’s them".

The beautiful thing about alignment is that it dissolves the need for artificial waiting periods. You are not waiting to gather more data or to feel more sure, because the knowing is already there. You are not waiting to meet some arbitrary social expectation, because your covenant is being orchestrated by something far higher than wordly opinions.

God does not operate in man-made timing. His seasons are sovereign.

God may prepare two people for years separately, only to bring them together in a moment that feels sudden but has been divinely prepared long before they ever crossed paths.

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Part 2 coming soon (to paid subscribers) 🤍

My man & I